Author

Diane Roberts is an 8th-generation Floridian, born and bred in Tallahassee, which probably explains her unhealthy fascination with Florida politics. Educated at Florida State University and Oxford University in England, she has been writing for newspapers since 1983. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, the Times of London, the Guardian, the Washington Post, the Oxford American, and Flamingo.
Florida welcomes you — with certain exceptions
By: Diane Roberts - February 27, 2023
Welcome to Florida! We’re glad to have you. If you’re white. Black people are such a lot of trouble, aren’t they, always demanding “equal justice” and voting rights and AP classes blaming white people for stuff like slavery and lynching and whatever. They get a whole month to talk about Martin Luther King: What more […]
DeSantis won’t let our young ‘uns be exposed to that ‘literature’ they push in government schools
By: Diane Roberts - February 13, 2023
What would you think if your child came home with a book about a boy running away to float down the Mississippi River on a raft with an adult Black man who calls him “Honey?” If that’s not grooming, I don’t know what is. And did you hear about the play they’re reading in English […]
Dear Gov: Suppressing Black people (like kids in AP) is a bad look outside the Fox News fever swamp
By: Diane Roberts - January 30, 2023
Ron DeSantis, pay attention: you really do not want Ben Crump suing you on behalf of three Florida high schoolers over that pilot AP African American Studies course you shut down. Have you seen those kids? Clean-cut, All-American, telegenic. Have you heard Ben Crump? Smart, eloquent, relentless. Crump gets on national TV more than you. […]
Gov. DeSantis’ attack on New College isn’t about philosophy; it’s about votes
By: Diane Roberts - January 13, 2023
Ron DeSantis likes to say Florida is where “woke” goes to die. If by “woke” he means tolerance, science, inquiry, free expression, and knowledge, yes, Florida is where “woke” goes to die. Florida is where public education goes to die; Ron DeSantis is poisoning it. Not content with installing the quack Joseph Ladapo at the […]
On anniversary of Rosewood attack, it’s sad to see DeSantis embrace FL’s Old South legacy
By: Diane Roberts - January 4, 2023
It began in the usual way: A white woman (her name was Frances Taylor) accused a Black man of beating her. That was on New Year’s Day, 1923. It ended in the usual way, with violence, lynching, and destruction. That Jan. 2, a mob of white men drove to Rosewood, a mostly black turpentine village […]
The only doctors Florida needs are Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, Dr. Laura, and Dr. Feelgood
By: Diane Roberts - December 19, 2022
Doctors! Those guys are a menace to decent Americans. They make us pee in paper cups. They tell us to stop eating Mickey D’s super-sized fries for breakfast. They want us to exercise. Sometimes they demand to take our actual blood, the sick bastards. Worst of all, they shove needles in us and have the […]
Democracy has its place — and, apparently, it’s not the Florida Capitol
By: Diane Roberts - December 13, 2022
Determined to keep the Free State of Florida the most incredibly free in the Land of the Free where freedom rings 24/7, Gov. Ron DeSantis is going to stop loud, tacky, possibly gay people from waltzing into his Capitol to “protest.” This is serious, people. You can’t let any old bunch of weirdo wokesters into […]
Your new Congress: Owning the libs, no matter the cost
By: Diane Roberts - November 28, 2022
Are you excited about the 118th Congress? If not, you’re a communist. True, the U.S. Senate is still in the hands of the godless Democrats who want to destroy America, but the House of Representatives now belongs to Republicans, the party of God, AK-47s, F-150s (and not the electric kind, either), manliness, Merry Christmas, and […]
Florida is turning its back on the New South, embracing its Dixie-fied past
By: Diane Roberts - November 21, 2022
Florida was once a New South state. From the early 1960s to 2000 or so, Florida had leaders who looked to the future, determined to leave Jim Crow behind and separate ourselves from the likes of Alabama. We had governors committed to equal justice, open government, and voting rights — however imperfectly achieved. No more. […]
Even the U.K. is falling prey to culture wars over abortion, immigration and history
By: Diane Roberts - November 4, 2022
LONDON — If you’re wondering what the U.S. might be like after the midterms, take a look at the U.K. under the disinformation-purveying, dyspeptic, dysfunctional Conservative Party. It’s not an exact parallel, but it may seem familiar. The British Tories are not under the control of evangelical fruitcakes or quite as close as we are […]
U.F.’s loudmouth leftists need to straighten up and fly right!
By: Diane Roberts - October 24, 2022
Did you see those ungrateful commie brats at the University of Florida hollering and hissy fit-pitching at Emerson Hall just because our wise and benevolent governor chose U.S. Sen. Ben Sasse, R-Some State Without A Coastline, to become president of their school? The students, faculty, staff, and those nosy types who think they have a […]
Hurricane Ian: This is climate change slapping us upside the head with a 2×4
By: Diane Roberts - October 10, 2022
Ian devastated Ft. Myers, reducing hundreds of buildings to filthy, soggy splinters, yanking houses off foundations, throwing trees around like match sticks. One woman, sheltering on the top floor of a resort said, “We saw everything get swept away.” Pine Island is in pieces. The Myakka and Peace Rivers overflowed into the streets and living […]