Author

Diane Roberts is an 8th-generation Floridian, born and bred in Tallahassee, which probably explains her unhealthy fascination with Florida politics. Educated at Florida State University and Oxford University in England, she has been writing for newspapers since 1983. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, the Times of London, the Guardian, the Washington Post, the Oxford American, and Flamingo.
Ron DeSantis getting cozy with the wingnut alliance comprising Clarence, Ginny Thomas
By: Diane Roberts - April 4, 2022
It must be love. Ron DeSantis has a major man-crush on Clarence Thomas, calling him our “greatest living justice and one of the greatest public servants in America.” We haven’t yet heard the famously reticent justice pour his heart out regarding Our Dear Governor but, according to Thomas’s wife, we know the two of them […]
The GOP displayed its inner bigot during Ketanji Brown Jackson confirmation hearings
By: Diane Roberts - March 25, 2022
Just when you think conservatives have reached their nadir, the absolute bottom of the stupidity barrel, they start slinging poop like a bunch of over-stimulated chimps. During the confirmation hearings for U.S. Supreme Court nominee Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson, Republican senators picked up all kinds of rhetorical turds to hurl. They only soiled themselves, wallowing […]
‘Nothing matters to these Republicans but power — power and malice’
By: Diane Roberts - March 15, 2022
The cruelty is the point. Adam Serwer’s 2018 Atlantic essay on Donald Trump describes the first year and a half of his administration as a “whirlwind of cruelty,” a never-ending storm of insults, pettiness, and bullying. He could have been writing about Ron DeSantis and Florida’s Republican “leadership.” The 2022 session, an orgy of malice, […]
Too many Floridians have gone all whiny — but not our intrepid governor!
By: Diane Roberts - March 8, 2022
OCCUPIED TALLAHASSEE — Who says Ron DeSantis is a bully? So he humiliated some Hillsborough high schoolers, demanding they remove the face diapers they were wearing, and calling the whole thing “ridiculous.” So what? Everybody knows masks don’t do anything to prevent the spread of COVID — everybody except the CDC, the Mayo Clinic, the […]
Rick Scott appears to imagine he can out-DeSantis DeSantis in the Culture War
By: Diane Roberts - February 28, 2022
Why does Rick Scott hate America? Last week he lurched out of wherever he’s been sulking and presented an 11-point action plan so reactionary, so dangerously stupid, so antithetical to American values, Vladimir Putin should write him a thank-you note. Florida’s junior senator proposes to take us back to the 1950s, that glorious era when […]
FL Legislature honors women by taking away their autonomy and control over their bodies
By: Diane Roberts - February 11, 2022
OCCUPIED TALLAHASSEE – Babies! Here in Florida, we love us some babies. Unless they’re already born. Then the little buggers become a bit of a problem, especially the nearly one in five who live in poverty and expect frills such as food, medical care, and a decent education. But the Republican Herrenvolk of the Legislature […]
The casualties are piling up from the Republican Party’s War on Knowledge
By: Diane Roberts - January 31, 2022
OCCUPIED TALLAHASSEE — Just in time for Black History Month, Florida’s dimmer bulbs — you know them as the state Legislature and their salad-brained co-religionists — mean to clamp down on educators who dare tell the truth about racism. Sen. Manny Diaz, Jr. of Hialeah is convinced someone somewhere is teaching white kids to hate […]
Stupid legislator tricks: Mendacity, malevolence, monkey business at FL’s Capitol
By: Diane Roberts - January 24, 2022
OCCUPIED TALLAHASSEE — Well, that got stupid fast. The legislative session is only two weeks old and the reliably witless Sen. Joe Gruters (R-Somewhere Up Trump’s Rump) is moving a bill to fine professional sports teams if they don’t play the national anthem. Wait, you say, aren’t the Heat and the Magic, the Bucs and […]
Actually, y’all, some of us would prefer facts with our politics
By: Diane Roberts - January 14, 2022
OCCUPIED TALLAHASSEE — In the first speech of his 2024 presidential campaign, not-so-cunningly disguised as the “State of the State” address, Ron DeSantis declared, We have made Florida the freest state in these United States. And the freedoms just keep coming. Florida women will be free from controlling their own bodies. DeSantis supports a bill […]
Dear Leaders: May we suggest some ways you can shape up during 2022?
By: Diane Roberts - January 3, 2022
It’s been a year, people. Weird stuff. Bad stuff. Some good stuff. Now it’s time to turn the calendar to 2022 and make that alleged fresh start we’re always promising ourselves. So as a public service to our busy, busy, busy political figures, I present here Roberts’ Recommendations for New Year’s Resolutions. Read ’em and […]
Gov. DeSantis seems hellbent on taking us back to the ’60s — only it’s the 1860s
By: Diane Roberts - December 27, 2021
And just like that, it’s 1861. Gov. Ron DeSantis likes to call this the “Free State of Florida.” If he hasn’t yet wrapped himself in the Tenth Amendment or threatened secession, it’s only because he’s been too busy playing soldiers, organizing his private battalion, rewriting the past, and trying to destroy democracy. Give him time. […]
Listen, you U.F. brainiacs: Our Wise Governor will let you know what to think
By: Diane Roberts - December 13, 2021
These professors are out of control. And Mr. Morteza “Mori” Hosseini, chair of the University of Florida Board of Trustees, is not happy, not happy at all. How dare a bunch of weirdo so-called “scholars” complain about being forbidden to testify against Our Wise Governor’s fine new election laws or teach a class with a […]